You Know You’ve Lived In Hawaii Too Long…

Squeezed April 28, 2005

Alchera Project, Project 33, Option 4.

Home truly is where the heart is, and my home is on a group of islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I know I’ve lived in Hawaii way too long…here’s why…in no particular order…

  • I bring out the winter parka when the temperature drops to a chilly 69 degrees.
  • I’m never entirely sure how many hours Hawaii is behind the Mainland (it’s 9:00 here, so it must be 11:00 in L.A….or is it 12:00)?
  • When I visit a friend’s house on the Mainland, the first thing I do at the door is take off my shoes.
  • I take offense when people ask, “Have you ever been to the States?” (implying that Hawaii isn’t one), and I want to grab them, shake them, and yell, “It’s the Mainland, lolo!”
  • I call close family friends “Uncle” and “Auntie”.
  • I’ve gotten used to TV sportscasters saying “close your eyes” before they show final scores of games that are telecast on tape delay.
  • I know that good coffee comes from Kona, and good sugar comes from cane. And only cane. (with all due respect to K. Jones)
  • No meal is complete without rice. Sticky rice. None of this Uncle Ben’s s**t.
  • I actually like SPAM®.
  • I pronounce “karaoke” with its proper Japanese pronunciation, “kah-rah-OH-keh”, and not “carry-OH-kee”. (Carrie Oki? Sounds like a classmate of mine from high school…)
  • Despite the high cost of living, the high taxes, and the knowledge that I will probably never own my own home unless I inherit it, I can’t think of any other place I want to live.

2 Responses to “You Know You’ve Lived In Hawaii Too Long…”

  1. Lynn Vasquez Says:

    Aloha Keith! I guess I’ve been here to long too. I love singing Karaoke and pronouncing it the way it’s supposed to be said. I’ll never own a home and probably die living at MWH, I would have it no other way. I pay low rent for a three bedroom and my family is growing…grand children. I’m glad that my late husband and I came back to the islands to raise our children. Yes, yes, no place like home…despite all the high prices, problems, drugs and illegal activities that’s happening. I’ll never leave our aina for another place! Thanks for sharing!

    Malama pono,
    Auntie Lynn

  2. K Jones Says:

    You got me on the cane sugar. Very funny. I do, however, agree about the Spam. Spam Musubi and sticky rice, mmmmmm.

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